The last time I posted a picture as part of my Sharing Hope series was during the two week wait of my last IVF cycle that ended in an ectopic pregnancy. When we lost our little fighter it felt like I also lost the last of the hope that I'd been holding on to, that if I tried hard enough eventually I'd be able to give Sunnyboy a sibling. I felt I couldn't grieve properly for our lost babies and still have the strength to carry on trying, and face another IVF cycle. But I did grieve and still am, and so is Sunnyboy, and I've been coming to terms with Sunnyboy most likely remaining an only child while my heart aches because I know how much he wants to be a big brother. Now that I'm so close to another due date without a baby my hope is finally starting to return, just a little, but it's a different hope. It's a hope that I find the strength to try again and that whatever happens, and even without ever being able to have another baby and a brother or sister for Sunnyboy, we will be OK. Because we are OK. We're happy and we're enjoying the good days.
So here's my new hope t-shirt and if you'd like to share images and words of hope too I'd love you to put a link to your post in the comments.
I've submitted this post to the PAIL Bloggers (Pregnant and/or Parenting through Adoption/Infertility/Loss) July 2012 - monthly theme post - family building and Stirrup Queens 2012 Creme de la Creme List.